NEWS FLASH: Beaver Kills Man
No, it’s not some wayward heinous violent act committed by Jerry Mathers. And no, it’s not a horrible (and smelly) porno accident. And no, it’s not a YouTube-driven teen pop sensation that you might catch ‘fever’ from. It’s an actual beaver, a wolverine with a flat tail, a fat otter, a floating woodchuck, a damn genuine dam-building beaver. And this beaver killed a guy.
What happened is this: This is what happened. The thing that happened, which I will tell you, in terms of what happened, vis-a-vis the event that took place, is the following: A man in Belarus was out fishing (note: not for beaver), and spotted a beaver (the animal). He saw it sitting there, and went up to take a picture. So far, so good, right?
Wrong. The beaver didn’t want its picture taken, so it ran up and bit the…
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